Tuesday, September 28, 2004

'u made the promise to b frens forver, bt sumhow i doubt we will'.. a case of hw promises arent suppose to b made in the first place.. it oni bring hope to one and wen the promise isnt fulfill.. it hurts..

Sunday, September 26, 2004

went to padang again to watch the hockey matches.. reli fun ar! hang out wif my sayang and fahmy mao.. i saw dis one old man hu played! hes my fav! hes in the holland c club or wadeva its call! hes so cute! he ran.. soooooo cute! haha.. n hes gd reli! then wen we were sitting watching another match.. the old man sat in front of me n tok to me!!! haha.. he smiled at me! k im nt being mepeks bt reli hes gd! reli gd! serious! haha.. ok fine im weird.. haha.. k all for now.. toodles

Saturday, September 25, 2004


hehe.. me n my twin nora at padang! scenery tak lawa seh! haha 

me n my sayang! lawa tak?! hehe 

Friday, September 24, 2004

firstly wanna sae congrats to ellia n apek n aro n hueva else hus in the jawatankuasa mldds tpjc! strive hard n make next yr menifest as gd as dis yr!
aniwaes, woke up at ard 8+ 9.. din reli haf a gd slp ar.. sumhow woke up feeling very stone.. dunno y.. arrive skool n see no one at sc.. so decided to continue reading my lit book since i stopped reading it in the bus.. i mean wad for waste my time juz looking ard at senseless stuffs rite? do sumthing better.. start studying since for the past few weeks ive been saying i mus study bt hafnt reli take a step in doing tat so im gonna start now.. lyk my etacher sae its better to start now then never starting at all n then u'll regret.. so true.. i wanna get promoted i guess.. i donwan to dissapoint my parents na unts n uncles hu put so much high hopes on me.. i wan them to b proud n hapie..
sumtimes i wonder.. y m i in a jc? y do i study hard? is it for myself? or is it juz for my parents n my relatives? i noe tat half of the success ive worked for to get into jc is bcos of their expectations for me.. i mean, i do wan to go jc since im in primary skool.. alwaes wanted too.. haf alwaes imagine myself in their uniform.. bt as i grow up, the motivation tat drives me to wan to pass n go to jc is my parents n relatives.. i guess leh ckp im their 'harapan' ar.. as long as dis motivation is still instil in me, i guess i'll continue to persevere thru every difficulty.. :) yea.. outz for now

Monday, September 20, 2004

Everybody cries
Everybody bleeds
No one ever
Said that life's
An easy thing
That's the beauty of it
When you lose your way
Close your eyes
'N' go to sleep
Wake up to
Another day


isnt it so true? shit manz.. promos cuming.. im bloody scared.. i don wanna stay back.. God pls juz help me.. everyone's freaking stressed up.. dont blame them.. they too r scared.. haiz.. m i able to pass all my 3A's? i ahf to.. no matter wad.. i cant fail any.. stupid shud haf taken another AO subject.. gotta werk hard.. juz got too..
PS: sori to those who reads dis n bcum more stress than ever!

Friday, September 17, 2004


at last! a niceeeeeeee pic! 

hahahha.. dis is complete mepeks ar.. nak act tengok bende lain! padahal padahal! 

haha.. ni mepekzzz!! ada dua xtra ar kat blakang tangkap jambu! hehehehe 

dis is us looking normal! kinda.. 

at home now.. stoning again.. haha.. promos.. in 3 weeks.. i wonder.. am i paniking cos im suppose to b panikking tat my promos are near.. or im reli panic rite now? i tink its the first one.. i dunno.. no sense of drive.. i noe if i don study im gonna fail my promos.. sumthing i don wan to do.. bt oh wells..
tok to my sayang juz now.. bt my past, his past.. very interestiing.. never reli told him the complete story bt my past n all. i guess to us our past is not impt cos wad matters rite now is juz us.. i so agree..
went to OCS(officer Cadet Skool) on wednesdae.. i had fun lar basically.. reli exciting u noe.. kinda curious to find out bt hw the army place looks lyk.. took sum stoopid pics bt hafnt got it frem afifah.. haha.. the plac ewasnt bad! its nice actually! theres even computer wif internet excess! haha.. we gt to c the bunks lar.. n some of the rooms haf FHM posters on their boards ar! hahahha.. one of them tried to cover up by saying its his buddy, bt come on still! nt as if u wont look at it! hahahahhaa.. some rooms haf neoprints of him n his gerlfrens.. n bears which i assumed given by gf.. hahah.. very sweet.. i guess NS is a tough period of time.. my Ic told me tat its common for pple to break up wen they r in NS n its usually the gerls tat ask for it.. its scary noeing my sayang wud go next yr insyallah n tat i'll miss him terribly bt i'll strive! hahaha..
well.. kinda boring rite my entry todae.. juz no idea wad to write on ar.. later wen theres more things to ponder abt, i'll update.. haha.. for now.. juz a simple update lar.. haha.. toodles~

I start thinkin' about it
I almost forgot what it was like
To know what love feels like

But with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me
Right before I hit the ground
With nothin' but a t-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby as I do now
Now that I'm with you

past

Monday, September 13, 2004

in the library rite now.. dunno y.. i seem to b doing my werk ar.. bt actually im juz stoning.. im juz typing wads on my pw script bt my brain isnt functioning.. seems as though even a small thing can irritate easily todae.. haha.. depends on hu the person is ar.. actually it was juz my PW leader.. asked him a qtn n hes lyk so blur.. not reli his fault ar i mean such a minor thing bt it gt me irritated.. haha.. mayb cos im juz so fed-up wif PW.. dont see any use or importance in it.. its juz a waste of time.. ya sure.. let us think outside the box.. but the box itself haf another box outside it.. i mean lyk we r still enclosed on some of the things we can do on or wadeva.. we still conform to the instructions given in the stupid booklet.. wadeva lar.. its juz PW.. its juz PW.. hahaha.. n dis fana is crazeee! she told me to write tat shes bhind me rite ow in the library! so hardwerking.. STUDYING her econs.. wen she actually is SUPPOSE to haf her econs lecture now! 'clever' gerl! soooo 'smart'! in case u dunno tat i was being sarcatic fana i shall put '...' for u! hahaha..

seems as though i suddenly tot abt the past.. i dunno.. i kinda miss sum parts of it.. lyk hanging ard wif mua frens.. hehe.. i miss those times.. going marine parade lar.. i miss the old long john silver at marine parade where me,fana wif dian or me,fana wif khairunissa(khai as we call her) n sal!n sumtimes fana si kental yg kat blakang aku ni pun ader.. hehe.. those were the daes ar.. the fun daes.. then sec 4.. got closer to am.. hang out at fana's hm.. we went to the beach n gt to fana's hm in a taxi without even bathing ourselves clean there! haha.. remember tat time? haha.. so funny.. on the wae saw a dead cat or racoon? haha.. reli gross! then theres time tat fana n sal slp over at my hm.. initially plan to study social studies.. bt nooo! haha.. joke ard lagik ader.. so funii.. hw the first time they went to my new hm at Punggol n si fana gi jerit kuat2 'sial ar bus tinggalkan kiter!' hahaha.. sedangkan it wasnt the bus tat we were gonna take! hahahah.. she makied the wrong bus! haha.. it was so funni! haha.. dah lah ketawer pasal tu, then gt dis compassvale sec gerl walking pass ar then they ask me 'wani, ko tanak masuk skolah ni?' then selengernye i replied ' no no.. i dont haf skool todae!!' hahaha.. there so wasnt any link! hahaha.. we din had skool cos our band won then gt holidae ar.. hahaha.. so selenger.. sampai umah perut dah cam nak pecah.. they still can laugh at me cos i took out my kunci to my hm even b4 i reach my block!! hehe.. so weird.. i miss those silly times we joke ard n juz chill after netball or after skool.. i miss those times i was sad n emotional n i sat down wif them talking abt wad i feel n hw i feel.. i cud tell bt anything at all.. i miss those talking times where we juz seem tat we haf our own werld u noe.. tat we dont need other frens cos we haf each other.. tat we plan to stay very near to each other.. i miss those times tat fana keep saying she wans to go to hawaii for ehr honeymoon n i keep changing where i wanna go.. first switzerland then canada! haha.. i miss those times we will laugh at sal or me for falling down! sal feel down in front of the takraw guys n me in front of the ncc sea guys! soo paiseh! haha.. i miss those times we'll juz wait till sumone fall n burst out laughing.. then tat time fana slept over at my hm n she was juz calling me ar 'oi kentot!' n my response was ' not me not me!' hahaha..sedangkan she was juz calling me! she wasnt saying tat i kentot! hahah.. so funi! then we create our on song..'its getting cold in here, so we switch off the air-con' hahah.. so weird ar kiter.. haha.. bt its juz so fun.. no stress no nothing.. haha..

i dont reli miss my past abt my relationships ar.. cos i dunno.. i feel numb abt it redi.. i dont feel pain wen i tink abt it.. i tink i learn n grew frem my past relationships.. i grew to handle it well if.. i grew to b more patient.. i grew n more aware of myself.. tat i shudnt b a fool.. i din consider myself as a playgerl, cos i did haf some feelings for those whom i dated.. its juz whether its infatuation or love? hmmph.. bt i do sumtimes look back at wad i go thru in my love life.. n i'll juz laugh.. haha.. at tat pioint of time, i felt tat wad i went thru was hard.. names being called.. frens angry at me bt alam.. haha.. bt now.. its juz a gd experience to me cos i dont wan to look back n feel hurt.. cos i don wan to feel hurt animore.. i dont wan to b disturbed by feelings or emotions of deep sadness or pain or wadeva lar.. i juz wanna feel hapie.. guess tats wad makes me strong.. stronger than yesterdae, now its nothing but my wae~ hahahahhaha.. k start crapping redi.. some of my tp frens who read dis wouldnot understand ar.. bt mayb u dont need to.. haha.. ive moved on.. life's gd for me now.. i haf a very caring n lovable bf whom i love soo much.. i cant even express hw much i miss n luv him so much rite now! haha.. i stilll haf my best frens by my side.. =) n my tp frens who are alwaes there.. thx u peeps! k toodles~

Saturday, September 11, 2004

fuck.

sori tat i din update for a long time.. theres still sumthing wrong wif my comp bt heck lar.. i found a wae to b a ble to update.. hmmph.. firstly wanna apologise to am n fana for not able to cum down to ur bbq.. im so sori ya.. bt i hope u guys njoy urself.. im sure u did n im kinda sad i actully missed it.. to the hockey peeps, thx for helping me n yan out.. thx nora for buying food n Gifts">gifts, thx ellia for bringing radio, thx amm for following me to buy charcoal, thx ana for bringing food.. thx so much everione.. hope u guys njoy urself!

i see smoking lies
they complicate a simple life
i'm here and you are there miles away

only that we do
is believe
that anything you want
you can reach
there's no limit to what we could be
so open your mind and set yourself free

i believe we fear what we dont know
we can be our own enemy
but if we conquer that
if you take my hand
i see a girl you see a man

and if you say that i'm naive
that i dont understand the world at all
you might be right but it seems to me
that we've come to far to fall
cos i believe that tears
are dried seeds that've sown
the harvest time will come
and all this pain will go
so try to understand
we're just grains of sand
every woman every man

hmmpph.. sum truth in tat rite.. well.. malas nak get emotional.. hahahaha.. oh wells.. toodles~

Siti Hazwani

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